3 Signs You’re Not Living Diliberately

Are you living deliberately or distracted?

While people are alive, very few are truly living these days.

They’ve fallen into fear, being careful and turned their focus to the outside world and what they cannot control.

Living your big dream requires you to be deliberate, following a path YOU design yourself regardless of what is happening around you.

You have to choose to pursue what you want in your heart and soul or you will live your life on default.

Here are 3 signs you’re not deliberately living your dream.

When You Worry About Old Problems

I love talking about dreams, working with women who dream big. I’ve discovered over my many years of coaching while trying to help women articulate what they really want, is that too many women cannot seem to dream beyond their most immediate most painful PROBLEM!

They want more, they feel they’re meant for more. They may see things out in the worldand think “wouldn’t that be nice”.

But too often they get stuck worrying about old problems leaving no room for those big dreams to unfold.

If that’s you, I’m here to help you change that.

On this week’s episode, something that might surprise you about your old problems. How they can help you get everything you really want!

Are excuses keeping you from living your dreams?

When you think about what you really want, your big dreams, what comes up for you?

“I don’t have time.”
“Maybe someday.”
“I can’t”
“It’s not the right time for me”

There are so many opportunities to say no to what you want, but that doesn’t mean you have to allow them to creep in and stomp out your dreams.

How much longer are you going to let those lies stop you from getting what you really want?

It’s time to call out whatever is stopping you and take charge of your life.

How to Be True to Your Own Feelings

It seems obvious and simple to be true to how you feel. Don’t let others get in your head, mess with your ideas or jack up your feelings. Butttt . . . it happens.

As an Empowerment Coach for women who’ve been told they’re too sensitive, I’ve heard thousands of comments over the years from women who feel they have to hide their true feelings.

As quickly as they share their feelings out loud, they tuck them right back inside. I’ve had women tell me they “ramble too much” and say they are “just being too sensitive”.

This feeling afraid or hesitant to share has increased significantly during this pandemic with all the opinions about what is the truth, mask-wearing, how one “should” live their life or what is “acceptable” or the “right” thing to do.

I’ve had intelligent, free-thinking women tell me . . .

  • “I am tired of hiding who I am.”
  • “I feel I have to hide what I believe.”
  • “I am afraid to share my true feelings.”
  • “So many people around me assume I believe what they do.”
  • “I’m afraid to say what I really think and feel.”

Have you been feeling this way?

Many people are in fear mode right now, wanting control over something they can’t control. So they lash out on social media, or at strangers at the grocery store.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but not entitled to shame others if they have a different view. But it’s happening. No one has the right to say what’s right for another person.

If you are struggling with this, while keeping all your feelings inside I do understand. I have made decisions in my life that were not mainstream, not the same as people in my life – and I was shamed, criticized and even cut-off.

I’m no lightweight when it comes to living healthy. I’ve studied and learned so much over the last 30 years about body, mind and spirit. And I’m a champion when it comes to emotions, how feelings of fear, insecurity and anger can affect the body.

Anxiety has increased for many of my clients over the last several months while feeling heavy and shut down, struggling energetically and emotionally – feeling sluggish from all the pressure, emotion and energy they’re holding inside. You cannot live healthy and feel free when you’re holding so much in.

1. Notice who you are a match with and who you are not.

While not always easy to realize someone close to you has a different opinion, two people can see things differently and still honor and respect each other, value each other.

Sadly not everyone will feel that way and you may need to move away from that relationship. Another hardship many of my clients are facing as well.

We are in turbulent times – but if you stay true to yourself, if you honor your own feelings and beliefs – you will discover there are people around you who you do align with that will come forward.

2. Stay in your own energy.

If you find yourself focused on other people, their view, their anger or fear and it’s affecting how you feel, bring your focus back to yourself.

Ask yourself how you feel and how you want to feel. Tell yourself what feels true for you and let that be your truth. Staying calm or feeling at ease is absolutely okay.

You don’t need to feel afraid, full of fear or anger to be concerned or informed. Those emotions are not a requirement of caring, they are a default of the subconscious for many people.

You can actually be very well-informed and calm. I had a client question how she was handling the pandemic. She said “maybe I have not done enough research, or I’m suppressing my feelings about everything.” When I asked why, she said she didn’t feel fearful or worried like everyone else.

Trust whatever you’re feeling about any situation, especially what’s happening in our country right now. You may be handling what is happening better than others.

You don’t need to work yourself into a fear state just because so many around you are acting that way, just to show you’re present with the events around you.

3. Walk away from bullies, know-it-alls and self-appointed experts.

If you’ve done your research and you feel at ease about your decisions, don’t feel pressured to go with the masses because you may feel bullied or outnumbered.

You’re a grown ass adult, an intelligent woman with a mind of her own. Own that. Not to mention, unfortunately those who bully or scream their opinions are the loudest, they are not always the majority.

People like that only want to be right and they have no regard or concern for your view on things. Hold your head high and walk away.

If you’re being bullied, unfriend, unfollow or walk away. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone, you’re not here to battle.

Use this time to purge your mismatched connections, unsubscribe, whatever it takes. Clean up your connections.

4. Ramp up your self-care.

This is always a given. But with all the shifting energy, the waves of opinions being released and the debating online, it can be excessively taxing on your energy. So up your self-care game.

Get plenty of sleep, water and whole foods. Plan more nice activities for yourself then you have been – you can never do too much for yourself.

This will help keep your resilience high and your ego low. It’s easier to honor your feelings and stay in your power when you feel good.

5. Detox your life.

There are so many ways to detox your life. You don’t need to set aside an entire weekend to do it. If you stumble across something, anything, and it just doesn’t light you up inside, get rid of it. Delete, throw it out, donate it. Just don’t keep it in your life.

This might be the food you’re eating, your exercise program or lack of, your morning routine, what’s taking up space in your closet or home. If it’s not what you want, get rid of it.

Be on the alert for anything that makes you cringe and eliminate. When we move through something so heightened, it really moves you to question what you want, what your time is worth and to eliminate what is not adding more joy to your life.

6. Empower yourself.

All day. Every day. Choose your own feeling set-point. The tone of your day should only be set by you.

Be there for yourself. Tell yourself what you need to hear. Journal what you want to focus on and what you want to see happen in your life as if it already happened.

Listen to empowering videos on Youtube, podcasts or my page. Join empowering groups – like mine or one in your community.

Read books that inspire and lift you higher. Basically fill your mind with all that is empowering and positive and 10 x it.

7. Continue to dream!!

Dreams are what make you want to get up every day. They inspire you to take action and move you to leave your comfort zone for something even better.

Do not fall for the lie that you “can’t because there’s a pandemic”. Yes there are certain limits, but YOU are limitless. Find a different way to do things, focus on what you can do and keep going.

Dreams help heal the world. Dreamers inspire others to dream bigger. Let’s you and I go first. Let’s dream bigger, bolder and better. I don’t think there has ever been a better time to dream than now.

I hope we move to higher ground, where we don’t need to shame or judge people for the way they choose to live their life.

But until then, if you are struggling with being true to your own feelings, or afraid of sharing who you are – I am here to listen and help.

When Will Now Be Your Time?

I have talked with women from all over the world. They have big dreams, visions of a better world and a desire to make a difference. But at the same time, they are not putting themselves first, not leading with their own dreams.

They are too busy doing all the things for everyone while their own dreams get lost in the shuffle. What they want just does not seem important enough–so they put off their dreams and maybe even give up.


That’s what we’re talking about on this week’s episode. Because I think NOW should be your time.

7 Ways to Consistently Focus on Joy

How much time do you focus on your joy? Happiness? What lights you up to even think about?

Society is so problem focused. I hear it all the time, “My social media is so negative”. With all the negativity in the world why wouldn’t you be problem focused???

Relatives, family, people complaining around you about what is wrong in the world make it easy to create a habit of articulating all that is not working in your daily conversations.

To get more of what you do want and to feel unstoppable, you must focus on the positives. It’s time to jump off the problem train and open space for more of what you do want.

Listen to this episode for 7 ways to consistently focus on joy!

The Truth About That Annoying Little Voice Inside

We all have that annoying little voice inside that likes to point out what we did not get done, how far we still have to go or how far we are from what we truly want. Not for lack of working hard or being busy.

But tending to more than most people while not feeling like you are doing enough, being enough or getting what you want is a hard way to live that leads to you suffering in silence.

It is not always easy to recognize or admit – that you doubt your own power or put yourself last. This can be painful and personal – not out in the open for everyone to see because maybe you hide it so well.

What if instead, your true inner voice talked you into your dreams and sang your praises? What would it tell the world about you?

Thats what were digging into on this episode. A heart to heart that you absolutely deserve to have your own dreams and how to override that part of you that may be keeping you from pursuing them.

Think You Have a People Problem? Think Again.

Have you ever struggled with people? Our lives are filled with many challenges, most involve dealing with other people.

What happens if the people youre fixated on are not a match? They dont see your view, dream, goals? They dont or wont support you.

Well that is exactly what were diving into on this weeks show how to honor what you want, move in the direction of your dreams regardless of what others say or do.
Well cover why

You may fixate on other people the damage it does to your future
External validation is not the answer youre looking for
You must honor yourself to stay vibrant, healthy and positive confident!
8 signs you may have people problems and what you can do to change that of course!
The 3 kinds of supporters to build your dreams one might surprise you!

Its so important to be true to yourself, all of you, 100%!